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If there is a Hell on earth then it has to be being a teenage girl in middle school. While there have been many films over the years about young girlhood and the pressures of school and home life they continue to be a necessary staple for the coming of age genre. They are a humorous reminder of how tortuous it can be for young women, as well as an exciting time that allows you to feel out of control but still amongst your best friends. YOU ARE SO NOT INVITED TO MY BAT MITZVAH may follow the shadows of another girlhood film this year, “Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret,” and while both have unnecessarily long titles both films carry such a sincerity of female youth that they almost feel like required reading material for your young one. BAT MITZVAH also has a little secret gem in one of the few good examples of Nepo babies, Sunny Sandler the fourteen year old daughter of comedic genius Adam Sandler. Sandler, who has made Netflix his latest home has also guided this film (produced under his Happy Madison company) for both Sunny and his oldest daughter Sadie playing sisters (Sandler chooses the side role of their father). The film may have started as a family affair, but this is Sunny’s big moment allowing the actress to create a role that re-defines teenage frustration, excitement and of course first crushes. BAT MITZVAH also welcomes an honest representation of Jewish heritage much to the Sandler’s own lives. Here is a comedy that doesn’t just feel authentic it is unapologetic. While “Are You There God?” had Margaret learning of different religions, BAT MITZVAH knows its faith and celebrates it from the start even if its lead is struggling to understand its value beyond material things. To her the party is God. But even if all the ceremonies eventually lead to an unforgettable party it is the planning that truly tests one’s faith, and sanity.

Stacy Friedman (Sunny Sandler) needs a perfect entrance to her Bat Mitzvah, because everyone knows that your entrance defines the rest of the party, and the party defines who you truly are. For a thirteen year old about to make her Bat Mitzvah, Stacy could care less about practicing her haftorah or her Mitzvah project which involves giving back to others. Instead for Stacy and her best friend Lydia (Samantha Lorraine) everything in their lifelong friendship has lead to the party. While her older and cynical sister Ronnie (Sadie Sandler) mocks her and her parents (Adam Sandler and Idina Menzel respectively) want her to focus on what the ceremony truly means they know they are not getting through to their phone obsessed and Olivia Rodrigo inspired teenager. But after all its tough to get through to a teenage girl especially when Stacy is still trying to find ways to fit in with the popular girls who spend their days making “iconic” TikTok’s as well as being noticed by her crush Andy (Dylan Hoffman). All the setups may seem familiar but Sunny Sandler is the shining light that makes this comedy all the more charming. It would be impossible to ignore the fact that she has some of the earnest charm that gave her father a long (an ongoing) career, but unlike the violent rage often displayed by the Sandler patriarch, Sunny’s frustration is rooted in feeling unheard by her family when in reality all they want her to do is connect more with her. Sunny as a performer feels fresh to the business but her skillsets show a possible career following not just her father’s but building her own path of awkward and realistic female roles that are as narcissistic as their male counterparts.

That narcissism is best displayed when Stacy sees Andy kissing Lydia at a pool party. Her life is thrown into total chaos but instead of talking to Lydia she decides it can only be fixed with online bullying and in one of the film’s more humorous running jokes using her Mitzvah project as a path to seduce Andy behind Lydia’s back. The film never ventures away from its middle school roots, but it also thrives in its portrayal of modern day Judaism. Stacy attending after school Hebrew School isn’t thrown in as a side story, but rather a main focus on what will define Stacy for the rest of her life even if she does not know it yet. Her rebellion isn’t against her faith and the film with a script from Alison Peck (Adapted from the book by Fiona Rosenbloom) shows us a new generation of Jewish children that have found ways to bring in their new world order of acceptance into their faith. This is best seen by Stacy’s teacher Rabbi Rebecca (Sarah Sherman) who does her best to connect with the kids in her own unique Zooey Deschanel wannabe way that is as comical as it is cringey. The kids however enjoy it allowing the film to show us a new generation that welcomes silliness instead of laughing it off. Today in films religion and religious education is only on two ends of the spectrum. It plays as either the villain or (just as annoying) a purely propaganda bullshit take on how anyone who hasn’t found God is a deviant to society. Thankfully BAT MITZVAH revels in its Jewish faith as well as having light mockery of the culture surrounding Bar and Bat Mitzvahs. There’s the obvious joke of the kids only enjoying the party and not the service, but there are also more in pocket jokes such at how Mitzvah parties are a common starting place for teenage drinking, getting to first base and of course the over extravagant Mitzvah DJ who some how has their hands wrapped around every Jewish mom much to the confusion of the fathers. This is far from a movie that will alienate its audience of non Jewish faith, but one that is funny for anyone who grew up Jewish with a father and mother parading them to temple each week in order to be good Jews all while talking shit at the old ladies table at the Mitzvah parties.

MITZVAH may be Stacy’s story but much like the character learns this is all bigger than her. The Mitzvah may be seen as a time when young Jewish girls and boys become adults but Stacy could not be further from that. It is refreshing change of pace to show her selfish behavior while everyone around her is trying their hardest to be there for her. Even when the expected big fight between Stacy and Lydia breaks out you know which side your on and it was long before their friendship ever “broke up.” Lorraine as Lydia is not just a moral being for the film, but the audiences own frustration with both Stacy, their own friends and if they look deep enough themselves. It plays with the idea of anyone who uses their frustration or God to wish for the things they believe they deserve. The reality though of Stacy’s and many others is that every time we choose to be alone it is so clear there were others wanting to guide us. MITZVAH doesn’t want to villainize Stacy, but it also doesn’t want us to empathize with every chose she makes. Instead here is a film that knows the difficulties of growing up and how even through all our shitty behavior there are those that continue to have our backs. Stacy’s main goal has always been to have big party since she believes only then will everyone surround her with love and admiration. But the reality that is so hard to learn as a teenager, is that you’ve always been surrounded by those who love, admire and cherish you. If that can be learned then you can have a real party, obnoxious DJ included.

B+

YOU ARE SO NOT INVITED TO MY BAT MITZVAH IS NOW STREAMING ON NETFLIX