No assembly RequireD

If you have seen the trailer for ABIGAIL, the latest horror film from the directing duo known as Radio Silence, then you probably would assume a movie about a ballerina vampire would have quite the bite. Throw in the concept of semi-heist and certainly Usual Suspects inspired feel then it all seems like a delicious bloody recipe. Unfortunately ABIGAIL is the product of a movie that could have used a few more rehearsals before hitting the big screen. In a time where many horror movies are trying to branch out and make a name for themselves in a sea of many others in the genre, ABIGAIL feels like the safe outcome of an all too common studio driven film. The movie produced by Universal was always meant to be a modern version on a lesser classic, “Dracula’s Daughter,” but this is a rule follower of a film never defying the big leader’s upstairs in order to have some unique or fresh approach. This is not to say ABIGAIL is awful, it is the kind of film that thankfully boasts a wonderful ensemble to help life a rather dull script. A cast that is clearly happy to be there and eats up every bit of screentime they are allotted. But ABIGAIL, even though based on an existing property becomes victim to modern marketing for “original” films. It knows audience’s today rarely go out for movies they know little about, so ABIGAIL’s greatest surprise becomes uncovered to be a selling point. Instead of giving us that big reveal of the little monster we are dealing with it shows its hand from the start and hopes later revealed surprises are worth the wait; they are not. ABIGAIL may want to thrive in its so called vampiric chaos, but frankly this vampire is all too easy to manage so it barely feels like a threat at all.

Abigail loves to dance. A young child performed by Alisha Weir who won over many as Matilda in the film adaptation of “Matilda the Musical,” Weir as Abigail is first seen giving us a solo recital all to the tune of the overused “Swan Lake” score. Seriously it may fit some of the story, but do filmmakers know there are other ballets besides “Swan Lake” (damn you “Black Swan” for opening the flood gates again). Abigail is quite the dancer, but there is a danger to her movements or perhaps that is because behind the scenes there is a gang of criminals waiting to kidnap her. Six people to be exact, but the audiences entry into them is Joey (Melissa Barrera) who even after her and the crew kidnap Abigail still wants to make sure she is safe. Joey is working alongside a ragtag team all with their own fake (Rat Pack) inspired names. There’s ex-marine Rickles (William Catlett), getaway driver Dean (the late Angus Cloud in his final film role), muscle Peter (Kevin Durand), tech girl Sammy (Kathryn Newton) and loose cannon and attempted leader Frank (Dan Stevens). Hired by the mysterious Lambert (Giancarlo Esposito) the plan seemed simple. Kidnap some rich man’s daughter, hold her for twenty four hours and become seven million dollars richer each. There is nothing wrong with a studio movie taking its time in fact it is all too rare nowadays, but ABIGAIL spends way too long building to a moment for too many know will occur. It can be fun to be ahead of the characters, but when it relies on such buildup that is painfully obvious the film suffers when the moment of reveal finally occurs.

The strongest thing ABIGAIL has going for it is not the bloodshed or madness that ensues, but rather the cast it is happening to. Barrera who has been in the news this past year for her sudden firing from Spyglasses’ “Scream 7” due to posting in protest of the war in the Gaza strip, shines as Joey a mom dealing with her own past mistakes while trying to stay alive. Barrera is continuous proof that any studio film would be lucky to have her. “Scream’s” loss is everyone else’s gain. However it is a shame that her final girl role is reduced to less exciting behavior and instead moody blues. She gets to have some fun in the film’s earlier moments but never with the same levity that her co-stars get. This showing most in Dan Stevens portrayal of a once corrupt cop turned total scumbag. Stevens chews up every moment playing into the douchebag role that he is greatly missed every time he disappears from the screen. While the rest of the cast may not get the meatiest of roles, Newton, Durand and Cloud all find empathy and hilarity in their respected time. I wish the same could be said about William Catlett, but his role is given the stereotypical quiet military man with no personality. Something that feels all too wrong for the crews only Black character. Weir as Abigail gets the most playful role, but the joke of little girl acting like a thousand year old adult grows tiresome fast. A child cursing and using words you have to look up in a thesaurus is cute one moment and redundant the next.    

It is a shame that even amongst all this the film still finds ways to suffer in the aspect that should be its best; the horror elements. Radio Silence loves themselves a mansion as shown in their previous film “Ready or Not,” but where that film used every nook and cranny of the house, ABIGAIL and its mansion setting is reduced to a few set pieces all that feel so closed in due to some lazy camera work that rarely gives us the full feel of this gigantic mouse trap the crew has found themselves in. ABIGAIL may do a good job at wanting you to quickly find empathy towards its characters and soon to be victims, but even amongst buckets and buckets of blood it all still feels so tame. It is almost as if the filmmakers knew that if all else fails cover the screen with fake blood and nobody will notice the poorly directed action in front of you. It can be fun at first seeing child Abigail go up against giant Peter, but with its quick camera pans it becomes apparent the action is less shown because its stunt team and editors needed to hide when it became a stunt performer and were not up for the task.

Vampire movies should make a comeback and for that ABIGAIL should get some credit. There is some great fun watching a modern film attempt to take down an ancient creature using merely what they’ve learned from pop culture as a plan. Having to figure out if this is an Ann Rice vampire, Twilight or even Lugosi vampire is humorous with this cast and the results of what works and even better what doesn’t work gives the film a much needed laugh. The mixture of comedy and horror is always tough and this film works better in the former (ironically Ready or Not was the exact opposite). But ABIGAIL’s best moments are stuck between a film of too much exposition and not enough exciting results. Its overarching theme of absent parents also falls flat especially with a last minute introduction that is anti-climatic as they come. But once again ABIGAIL is best when it relies on its cast that have way more bite than its titular vampire. Being trapped with a murderous ancient demon would suck, but if this critic had to be stuck with anyone you could do a lot worse than Dan Stevens and Melissa Barrera.

C

ABIGAIL IS IN THEATERS EVERYWHERE APRIL 19 FROM UNIVERSAL STUDIOS